Gary Oak's Fantastical Review Show!
by Scion Of Legend
Summary: Gary's here to read, snark, criticize, and judge whatever fanfiction is thrown at him! Let's just hope he gets out with his sanity intact. Rated T for multiple things. This is meant for entertainment. All stories reviewed belong to their respective authors, not me. Only this fic itself is made by me.
1. GOFRS - For Beautifly

**Hey, Scion here. This is a new story I'm doing to review/snark at my fellow fanfiction works. I mean this story as a way of entertainment and stuff. I** ** _most likely_** **won't review rated M fics, but if I do, I'll just do the rated T bits and either skip/skim the rated M bits. You can suggest stories in the reviews if you wanna. I also will be doing only one-shots and short stories.**

 **Anyway, let's start the show!**

 **All parts from the story will be written in bold and parts written in bold in the actual story will be bold-italic**.

 **This chapter is reviewing For Beautifly by mehx2**

Welcome to Gary Oak's Fantastical Review Show! I did not make that title. I'm your host, the wonderful Gary Oak; trainer, researcher, single. (He winks and smirks.) I'm here to review stories that people have made of me and a whole bunch of other people like Ashy-boy, Gramps, and others. The first story I'll be reviewing is called...hey, what's it called again? (A teenage boy with dirty blonde hair whispers in Gary's ear and promptly leaves.) Oh! "For Beautifly" is the name of it. Now that the introductions are over, let's give the fans what they want!

 ** _Hey everyone! So, ever wonder if the roses were really for Beautifly? Please read and review!_** No, I haven't. But there was that one time in Slateport... (Gary shakes his head.) Never mind. As for the read and review part... (Gary chuckles.) Oh, you have no idea.

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo...**_ It's not like some lawyer representing Nintendo is gonna sue some story a fan wrote.

 **"Hey." Drew sat down next to May, who was playing with her Beautifly.** (Gary snickers childishly.) **He was tired after a grueling contest, where May had narrowly won.** ** _Just a fluke..._** Hey, that's what the chumps I beat at the Silver Conference said to me. **Drew thought, and flipped his hair.** I can hear the grammar police sirens right now. **He heard a giggle from next to him. He turned his head, confused, and raised an eyebrow at May, who was trying to fight back a smile.**

 **Drew cocked her head at her, as if to ask her, what in the world are you laughing at?** (Gary snickers childishly again.) **This resulted in another giggle escaping May's lips, and she firmly clasped her hand over her mouth, which actually didn't do much at all to muffle her laughing.** Wee-woo-wee-woo; I can hear the grammar police getting closer.

 **Drew sighed. Whatever. This girl is insane. He got up, and pulled out a rose from his jacket.**

 **"For Beutifly" he said casually, and tossed the rose into the air.** That's the worst nickname for a Pokemon I've ever seen, and I've seen someone name their Snorlax 'Burden' before. **He started walking away, when he heard May's voice behind him. "Drew, wait!" she yelled.** [In a falsetto.] "Drew, bear my children!" (Gary pauses and glares at the camera.) Don't any of you take this out of context.

 **Drew rolled his eyes, spun around, and flicked his hair.** And then he got on the floor and did the Venasaur. **"What's up, May?" he asked, slightly annoyed.**

 **May giggled again.** I've seen cheerleaders giggle less than this girl. (Gary gets out a pen and paper.) Note to self: never have cheerleaders ever again. **"Just, you know, wanted to say thanks for the rose." she said.**

 **"They're not for you. They're for Beautifly." he said, sweeping an arm towards the vividly colored pokemon perched on May's head.** He pulled one rose from his jacket, yet he refers to them in multiples. Does he have a dozen red roses in his jacket or something?

 **"Sure, Drew. Whatever you say." Another giggle.** You could make a drinking game from how many times she giggles.

 **Drew walked up to where May was sitting.** Wasn't she standing up? Wee-woo-wee-woo the continuity police have joined the hunt now. **"What, you think that they're for you?" Drew asked, smirking.**

 **"Of course they're for me!" May exclaimed. "Everyone knows that red roses mean love, and you can't be in love with my Beautifly, I mean, uh, wait a second." May stopped smiling, and seemed shocked. "No** **way, you can't be, I mean, Drew?" she asked** I'm not sure if there are more commas than actual words in this story or not. I know it somehow beat the times May giggled.

 **Drew motioned for her to go on.**

 **"Are you in love with my Beautifly?"** Now it really is like that time in Slateport. (Gary zones out a bit looking forlorn before snapping back to reality.)

 **Drew smirked. "Of course. Who wouldn't, with those vibrant colors and gorgeous wings." He winked at Beautifly, who trilled and flew up to sit on Drew's head.** (Gary looks surprised, yet impressed.) Wow, he's better than picking up chicks than I am! Even I couldn't win over a Beautifly that fast! I mean, not that I'd know... (Gary grows a bit pink around the cheeks.)

 **Drew grinned. "Well, I guess that we'll be going now."** And then they made love later that night. (Gary shakes his head again.) I have really got to get my mind out of the gutter.

 **And with that, Drew and Beautifly waked off into the sunset, leaving a stunned May behind. Well, Drew walked. Beautifly flew next to him. And now the author has decided to end the story before ruining it any more.** It's not like you could ruin it. If anything, you could just continue on and make a sappy romance story.

And that's the end of that story. My overall thoughts on the story were...um...how do I put this...It was like drinking Moomoo milk straight from the Miltank: short lived, weird, yet strangely enjoyable. Not that I would know. (Gary blushes even more than he did earlier. He clears his throat.) Anyways, smell ya later! And, in the author of the fanfic's own words, read and review!


	2. GOFRS - Monotony

**Hey, Scion again. Hey, for once, I'm posting a second chapter of a fic! Thanks for the reviews and stuff! So, without further ado, here's Chapter 2!**

 **The story will be written in bold, while anything in bold in the story will be in bold italic.**

 **This chapter is reviewing Monotony by Cross-Flame.**

Hello, Gary Oak here again to review whatever I'm given again! Let's see here... (Gary opens the laptop.) So this one is called Monotony, huh? If it's anything like the last one, it probably will be. Let's get this thing started, shall we?

 _ **The boy smiled lovingly as one gloved hand placed a firm grip on the steel bar, and the other gently stroking the smooth mustard-yellow fur that belonged to the one-foot-tall mouse, a mouse so happened to purr at his master's action.**_ Stroking...where exactly? There are so many jokes I could make from this one sentence, but I'll just let the audience's imagination go rampant. (Gary dons a blank expression, presumably realizing further implications.) Oh. OH.

* * *

 **It was already out of the question if he ever loved her.** The Pikachu from earlier is in love with someone? All right then. Sounds like an interesting premise.

 **The pill-shaped buds hanging around her slender neck were lightly tossed left and right by the cold breeze, the scythe-like leaf appendage on her head drooped in tune of her mood, and her short and pale-yellow tail between its pudgy legs, having barely wagged the whole day. The image her eyes had truthfully delivered to her mind was no fraud, yet, at the same time, hard to believe, unlike the moon that emitted only a faint glow.** First of all, you could have just said the Pokemon, that I assume is the Pikachu's love interest, is a Bayleef. Secondly, why didn't you stick with the female pronouns? It could confuse somebody. Thirdly, and most of all, what does any of this mean?!

 **Difficult to believe, yes, and at the same time, no.** I'm going with no.

 **It was a monotony, and it goes without saying.** I am I supposed to be completely and utterly lost right now? **How she would eat the provided pellets, setting a boundary to the other Pokemon, confining herself in isolation. How she would fool others that evolution matured her into an adult, when, really, she never actually knew the meaning of mature.** (Gary looks flat-out confused.) **How she would rarely talk to anyone, human or Pokemon; she would, but only out of prior need to do so.** Um... **She was used to this; if she somehow does the opposite of those things, she would think it weird of her, so to speak.** At least I'm starting to get what's going on. I think.

 **Well, whatever.** That sentence is my life in a nutshell. **This "monotony" seemed more indifferent than her life in the wild, with what harsh, intelligent, scheming, powerful, stupid (she could've scoffed at this, but right now was a little too saddened for that), and thieving opponents, whom she will always want to forget.** I feel like I'm being left out of the loop here. **Despite all the gloom there was that** she **would choose that junk-y life over ever remembering - ever meeting's a better term - the boy named Satoshi.** Wait a minute... (Gary looks deep in thought.) That sounds familiar...

 **Clutching the fire dragon with all her remaining strength as they twirled around in midair, clumsily hitting smack-down on the rocky downfall of the mountain.** Hm...Satoshi, Satoshi, Satoshi... **She was already hurt from the boy's first attempt to catch her with a small cerulean dinosaur with some kind of large plant bulb on its head a failure (again she wanted to laugh at her impressive strength, but she was too depressed to).** Satoshi...Pikachu...Bayleef. Charizard, Bulbasaur, by Scott, I've got it! It's Ash! I don't know why he's being referred by his middle name; it's like calling me "Shigeru" since it's my middle name. We have first names that are simpler, you know. (Gary suddenly stops.)

Wait. (Gary's smile widens.) His Bayleef has a crush on him?! (Gary bursts out laughing.) I don't know what's funnier, the fact that this is a thing or the fact that he's so dense that he can't blatantly see it! (Gary drops to the floor laughing.) HAHAHAHAHA! (About four minutes later...) Hahaha... (Gary gets up.) Sorry, back to the show. (Gary stifles some more laughter.)

 **She wanted to get up, but all the gashes and wounds from the battle prevented her too. She wanted to hit the boy, for making her all so close to death.** Looking back from this and my revelation I had there (Gary snickers.), there is a lot of mood whiplash. Oh, and there's probably a joke in there that's utterly horrible and wrong, but I'm not saying it nor am I seeing it. **It didn't change anything though; she was still hurt.** Did I just use the word "nor"?

 **(Boy, that hurt didn't compare to the hurt she felt now.)** Ow the edge.

 **Hurt, sure, but ashamed at her lack of strength, as she found herself being helpless on the spot, then making the boy worry for her sake. A stranger, to be exact. Then she found herself shamingly gnawing him when he engulfed him in an embrace, as she heard faint yet quick footsteps on damp grass en route to their so-called "Pokemon Center".** Gnawing where exactly? At his hand? His hair? His *this part has been censored*

 **"Hey, Bayleaf?"** It's spelled "Bayleef." You'd think with all these complicated words this story is spouting out, they would at least get the names right.

 **She quickly jerked her head up, tense but for only a second.** Who's talking exactly? **The first thing she saw was the smile that seemed so genuine it was delusional. Then she saw the pair of eyes that almost resembled her own that held so much angst.** CRAWLING IN MY SKIN **She frowned with her crimson red, soulful eyes, tears threatening to fall.** Trying to tell someone that Ash could possibly be angsty is like trying to tell Tracey to not draw a new Pokemon he encounters. Though there was that one time he drew some chick named Bianca thinking she was a Latias or something. Anyways.

 **"It's okay; I'm still here..." He averted his gaze at the night sky, the many dotted lights called stars twinkling brightly.** I thought the font color was supposed to be black, not dripping in purple prose. **Then, quite suddenly, he began to place a warm hand** I'm interrupting here for the audience that have their minds in the gutter to make what you will of my cutoff. **on her chin, then sofly stroking it with uncharacteristic gentleness.** I'm pretty sure Ash is gentle. When he's not breaking everything in sight on accident. **She quickly dropped her vision to a dull beige ground, a tint of pink appearing under her teary eyes.** I've learned an odd fact about Pokemon: Every Pokemon can blush; even the cold-blooded ones. Weird, but true. *The more you know.* **"Bay..."**

 **"I'm still here..."** Though I kinda wish I wasn't.

That was decent. The opening was pointless, the story had so much purple prose in it I think I temporarily can't see the color indigo, and it had more than a couple grammatical mistakes. On the other hand, the characters are portrayed nicely, albeit a bit unnecessarily angsty, the romantic bits (Gary snickers again.) are nice, and...well, that's it, I guess.

Oh, and before I leave, it seems I got some reviews on the first chapter! Lemme see here... (Gary's eyes widen.) Oh. OH. It seems you guys are requesting material. This'll probably end up in flames, but oh well. Thanks for the reviews, follows, and that cool person who favorited! I'm Gary Oak, and I'M NOT TELLING WHAT HAPPENED AT SLATEPORT!

 **To perpetuate the stereotype, be sure to review! So long and adieu!**


	3. GOFRS - Change of Heart

**Hey, Scion here. Thanks for the reviews, follows, favorites and whatnot! It's touching to me that so many people (About ten is many apparently. Nice logic you have there, me.) care about this story. Maybe I can get some actual skill at writing while I'm at it! Haha! Anyways, to the story!**

 **The story being reviewed is show in bold, and anything in bold in the story itself will be show in bold-italic here.**

 **The story being reviewed is Change of Heart by IrishDreamer4**

(Gary is repeatedly slamming his head on a desk. The blond-headed teen from Episode 1 walks over to Gary.) Teen: Hey Gary, you okay?

Gary: (Gary pauses.) No. (Gary resumes headdesking.)

Teen: What's wrong?

Gary: (Gary glares at teen.) Scion, you want to know what's wrong? I found the rated M fics.

Scion: (Scion flinches.) Did you find the- (Scion shivers.) -lemons?

Gary: Yes. I have also learned about how people think _every Pokemon ever_ can go into *nope* at the drop of a hat. I'm not even going to begin with the fetishes. Just...leave me alone for a bit.

Scion: All right. I got you a story I found that's perfectly fine. (Scion sets down a laptop in front of Gary.) See ya. (Scion exits.)

Gary: (Gary clears his throat.) I'm sorry for that. I figured I might as well find some fics on my own and I got mortified. Anyways, welcome to the show, yada yada yada, let's do this.

 **"May, quit hogging the popcorn!"**

 **"Get your own, Ursula!"** Any chance I could get, I dunno, actual context?

 **"Ouch!"** Guess not.

 **"Marina, quit moving!"** Mari-who? Isn't she the deceased granddaughter of that scientist that made a bio-organic lifeform?

 **"Sorry, Misty."**

 **Dawn smiled, lifting her head up from painting her toes pink.** (Gary's eyes widen in horror.) No. No no no no no. I've dealt enough with this with my sister, I am _not_ sitting through a girly-girl sleepover.

Scion *offscreen*: It gets better.

Gary: It better... **She was so grateful for being blessed with the bestest friends a girl could have.** (Gary gags.) **Her best friends threw this sleepover for her and she was so grateful for that too.** Is the word "grateful" going to be used as many times as May giggling from that Beautifly story?

 **The whole reason for the sleepover was to cheer her up from her mess with Gary Oak.** *insert George Takei "Oh my" here* **It was no secret that Dawn Berlitz had a _major_ crush on Gary Oak since pre-school. **(Gary has a blank expression.) What. **But to him, she was she was a fangirl hell-bent on annoying him.** She was one of my cheerleaders? And "she was she was"? It sounds like you're trying to type out "To Fix a Gaben" or something. Before you ask, that Max kid is a friend of mine who keeps sending me these weird videos. That one was one of them.

 **In middle school, he rejected her after a heartfelt confession.** Oh yay, _more_ Slateport flashbacks. **He said he only liked her as a friend.** I see some contradictions going on here. **At first she wasn't discouraged, only hopeful.** Like all my admirers. **She got the message when she saw him with Leaf Green right afterwards, so blissfully happy.** Well played me. Well played. **She kept her distance and moved away so he can be free of her.** That makes absolutely no sense. It's like a series of suicides all around town in the span of a week and not saying it's murder.

 **She wasn't sure how the mess happened but she was pretty sure it begun on the day she came back.** *insert George Takei "Oh my" again* **As she walked down the halls of the high school, she felt all eyes on her, especially the boys. She reunited with Misty, May, Ursula, and Ursula.** I see there has been some cloning going on here. Poor unfortunate souls.

 **And Gary.** Best for last, am I right?

 **She remembered the shock on his face when he saw her for the first time in years. Their first talk in years was a fight.** Hey, just like every time I talk to Misty! (Gary flinches.) I can still feel the wrath of her mallet. **He wasn't clear on why he was angry but to her, it was like she wounded his big ego.** Everything in that sentence was wrong.

 **So her friends threw a sleepover to cheer her up. And it was working.** So sleepovers fix everything? "Hey Jasmine, I'm sorry for your loss. Wanna have a sleepover to make it better?"

 _ **Clank!**_

 **"Did you guys hear something?" May asked.**

 **"No." Ursula quipped, not looking up from her magazine.** Even Team Rocket could come up with better quips.

 _ **Clank! Clank!**_ Is the house being invaded by Klingklangs?

 **"Here it is!" May confirmed.**...Where is it? Is it the magazine? Is it Ursula's clone? Is it some guy breaking wine glasses? Specify!

 **"What is that..." Marina said.** That's what I want to know.

 **"There's someone out there!" Dawn shrieked, pointing at the silhouette outside on the balcony Misty's room had.**

 **"I'll take care of it..." Misty growled as she whipped out her** gutter interlude **mallet, intending on beating up whoever trespassed on her property.**

 **Dawn opened the doors leading out to the balcony, her face froze.** And so did the writer's sense of grammatical expertise.

 **"Gary?"** Of course it is. Who else would it be, Arceus himself? Herself? Itself?

 **The infamous Oak flashed** I'm not sorry **her a grin, his hands gripping onto the handles of the ladder.**

 **"Hey Dawn."**

 **Dawn stepped out, holding up an arm to halt Misty's from hitting him.** I think you forgot a noun in there. **She had to handle it herself.** *insert George Takei "Oh my" one more*

 **"What are you doing here?"** "I just wanted you to know that I want my pepper back."

 **"I wanna talk to you."**

 **"Did you have to bring your clonies?" Ursula interrupted, her head sticking out from the other window, along with the heads of Misty, May and Marina.** Funny how Ursula mentions clones when she is, in fact- (Gary points to the right in a dramatic fashion) -a clone herself!

 **"Hi, Mist!" Ash yelled from the lawn, waving both arms.** In a world where Ashy-boy is my clone, Cynthia is a Furret in disguise. **Misty blushed.** Whoa, whoa, time out! Do we have _another_ chick who has the hots for Ashy-boy? I know his Bayleef and Serena from camp, who I recently bumped into, have feelings for him, but Misty too? Is Ash a womanizer in disguise or something? He is _way_ too dense to notice if he is anyway. I think I remember mentioning the possibility of Ashy-boy and Misty getting together to him and he said something about her "not being his type". That's my line, Ashy-boy!

 **"Hi Marina!" Jimmy shouted, waving one arm.** Who? **Marina giggled and waved back.**

 **"Hey, June." Drew held his head up to direct his smirk at her.** Oh hey, I have the rose vendor as a clone. In that world, I'm a Latias in disguise who also moonlights as a shrine guardian.

 **May glared at him. "Its _May_ , grasshead!" **Scathing.

 **"Idiots." Paul grumbled, palming his face.** I've met this guy before. Great battler, not a person I would want to hang around. Also, "palming his face." Hm. That doesn't sound utterly ridiculous at all! **Ursula rolled her eyes also.** Did anything indicate Paul rolled his eyes? No.

 **"What do you want, Gary?"** Haven't we already established that he- er, I, want to talk?

 **"Just to talk."** See?

 **"Then talk."**

 **"Don't use that attitude around me!"** That sounds something I would have said when I was mainly a trainer cruising around in my car and those cheerleaders were with me too. Why does everything loop around to those cheerleaders?

 **"You sound like my mom."**

 **"Quit sassing me and just listen!"** Dawn never really seemed like the sassy type to me. (Gary shrugs.) It's fanfiction, so why not?

 **"You're not even making things clear!"**

 **Gary groaned. "You know what? This is your fault in the first place!" Dawn gasped as Gary realized his mistake. "No, no, I didn't mean it like that!"** That entire paragraph made little to no sense. I'm starting to understand the phrase "This reads like a bad fanfiction" now.

 **"No, I know exactly what you mean." Dawn sighed but it sounded so icy it struck Gary in the heart.** Dawn is an Ice type? So I've got my "if Paul was my clone" alternate universe: Dawn is an Ice type. And another thing, this present-tense speak with a past-tense narrative is really disorientating. **"I don't want this right now or ever. Just leave me alone."**

 **"Dawn, wait!"** "I never got my pepper!" **The boy swung a leg over the railings, intending on breaking in when Ursula ran out and gripped the top handles of the ladder.**

 **"Take a hint!" She told him before she pushed the ladder back.** I like this girl's style!

 **He yelled as he fell back and crashed on top of his friends.** Gary, er, I? broke his neck and slipped into a coma, while Ash broke his arm, Drew messed up his hair, Jimmy sprained his ankle, and Paul got impaled in the leg with his own edge. Ursula was later sent to prison for 20 years with parole. Dawn never got over it, Misty went on a rampage with her mallet, Marina continued to stay irrelevant, May went on with her life, and Ursula got in a prison fight day one. She was later rumored to have said, "I'm not stuck in here with you. You're stuck in here with me.", and beat up all of the other prisoners. **Ursula smirked down on the pile of groaning boys and sauntered back inside with a cocky swag of her hips, making Paul smirk.** Sauntered? Who uses that word? I'm starting to notice the word "smirk" getting used as liberally as giggling. I'm detecting there's going to be more of this.

 **The sleepover started up again when the doorbell and knocks came a minute later.** They didn't check if they, er, we were okay? Wow. I'd use some choice words here, but my contract says I'm not supposed to swear for the younger audience. (Gary looks offscreen.) Hey Scion, this show is rated PG-13! It's not like people don't pay attention to the rating!

Scion: Then how did you even find the lemons?

Gary: ...Touche.

 **"Dawn? Dawn, open up!"** I make good recovery time.

 **Dawn buried her face in a pillow and screamed in frustration.**

 **"Gary was never this bad with other girls." May commented.** You know it. (Gary fires double finger pistols at the screen whilst winking.)

 **Dawn pulled the pillow down, and eyebrow arched.** This person doesn't know how to use commas. **"What about Leaf?"**

 **"They grew up together. They had an off-and-on fling for _ages_ until Leaf's old friend Silver swooped in and they become and item." Marina told. **They can revive two Pokemon with max HP. Best item ever.

 **The bluenette then scoffed. "So he's looking for a rebound in me?"**

 **Sooner than later, the knocks became pounding, threatening to break down the door.**

 **Dawn fisted her hair.** I'm sorry, _what?!_ _What_ does that mean?! "Dawn fisted her hair." That makes absolutely no sense! I swear this story is beginning to bamboozle me... (Gary looks at the camera.) Did I just use the word "bamboozle"?

 **She stormed downstairs and opened the door so fast, the boys trumbled in, landing on each other.** Again, the commas. **They looked to Dawn's glare.** (Gary tenses up then relaxes.) I'm not going to begin on that again.

 **"You guys, outside. Gary, you stay."**

 **Ash, Drew, Jimmy, and Paul ran out.** What's the worst she can do? It's not like she's very physically strong. **She shut the door after them and snapped her glare to Gary, scaring him.**

 **"You are _soo_ lucky Misty's family is gone for the weekend. Probably not so lucky to have Misty here." That scared him more. **I'll admit, the only thing that scares me more than a horde of lethal Pokemon bent on torturing me is Misty. **"You wanted to talk, now talk."**

 **Gary swallowed his fear and doubts, starting to talk. "Dawn, I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry for freaking out on you. I just lost it when you came back without a warning, just like when you left."** We need context about Dawn leaving and said confrontation that erupted between "Gary" and Dawn. It's confusing not having material to draw back on. (Gary looks at the camera.) For all the writers out there, if you ever decide to, well, write, please make things have context.

 **"I thought you would be glad to see me gone!"** I can see the obligatory love confession coming from Tin Tower.

 **"No, I wasn't!"**

 **"Why?"**

 **"You were like my little sister! But you left and came back...not so little!"** That was as smooth as a Dwebble.

 **"Uh, that's what happens when you grow up!** Captain Obvious saves Townsville once again! **Look, I gave up on you when I saw you with Leaf right after you turned me down. You were happy with her. So I moved on.** By "moved on", you mean "literally moved on". That's cold. **And I am _not_ going to let you use me as your rebound because you hadn't moved on from her." **

**"Rebound, what are you talking about?"** Don't pretend like you don't know.

 **"May and Marina told me of your off-and-on fling with Leaf."**

 **"I want you!"** Even Lt. Surge can sweet talk better than this twit can. I just offended myself, didn't I?

 **"Why the sudden change of heart?" She asked, folding her arms.** Obligatory title drop: check.

 **His lips made a cross between smirking and smiling.** Take a shot. **"I realized how much you mean to me."**

 **She rolled her eyes and faced the wall, pulling her hair over her shoulder to curtain her face. "That is so cliche."** "That is so cliche." At this point, calling something cliche is cliche in of itself. No matter what, it's always cliche. I'm sorry if cliche no longer sounds like a word.

 **He frowned, narrowing his eyes. "Damn, growing up sure made you stub-"** (Gary looks offscreen.) He gets to swear and I don't? Not cool!

Scion (offscreen): We never had a contract, remember?

Gary: ...Sonofabitch.

 **Quick as a flash, she suddenly turned, grabbed his face, pulled and planted her lips on his'. His hands moved to her waist, wrapping themselves around her. She moved hers off his face to grasp his shoulders. They hugged each other as they kissed passionately.** That paragraph somehow managed to have both too much commas and not enough commas.

 **When they broke apart, Dawn was smiling happily like she was a child again.**

 **"Does that mean you changed your mind about me?"** "No, I just want my pepper back."

 **"Yep."**

 **"Now get out!" Misty showed up and yanked Gary away from Dawn by the back of his jacket.** Where did she come from?

 **"Hey, hey, I gotta ask her out first!"**

 **"Save it for tomorrow!"** Technically he just asked Dawn out, so there's no need for that.

 **With that, she threw him outside, crashing right onto his friends _again._ ** And Jimmy was still irrelevant. **He got pushed off and sat up to see Dawn waving and giving him a wink before the door closed.**

 **He grinned. "She's definitely _not so_ little!" **...Okay then?

I didn't like that at all. The attempts at plot were subpar, the writing had lots of errors, there were a _lot_ of unnecessary characters in here, mostly Jimmy, the humor was _bad,_ and overall, it left a sour taste in my mouth. I have a feeling the author could do better, but it doesn't show here. With that, I'm Gary Oak signing off. Smell ya later!

 **I hope you enjoyed that. If you liked it and/or have stories to suggest, leave a review. It really helps my ego- I mean my writing. Thanks for reading, and adieu!**


	4. GOFRS - Lucifer

**Hey guys, Scion here! Right now I'm trying to decide between two stories: A story where Gary gets Pikachu in place of Ash and the events of the anime go massively differently, like Sabrina traveling with Gary or something or an AU Gates to Infinity fic very similar to the Fire Emblem fanfic** ** _Asleep_** **where someone who played the game gets whisked into the world and he massively derails everything. Could you tell me which one you prefer? (Ignore this.) Enough prefacing, let's start the show!**

 **The story being reviewed will be in bold, while everything in bold in the story itself will be bold-italic.**

 **The story being reviewed is Lucifer by Ten-Faced**

Hello, and welcome to Gary Oak's Fantasical Review Show, still working on the copyright, with your host, me: the awesome Gary Oak! After that utter travesty that was the last chapter, let's see if this one does any better!

 **In the beginning, there was One.** Sentence one and I've already had enough faux-Christian symbolism. **And then, three more came into existance at his will.** Kinda killed the serious mood you had with that misspell.

 **Time roared at Space shifting.** If I didn't already figure out this was Arceus, Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina, I'd say this would be a more bizarre version of that Ocarina of Time cutscene. **Antimatter stood back and watched silently.** Okay then? **The One oversaw all, studying them.** Take the Space pill and you'll believe what you want to believe.

 **The dark one caught his attention the most, even if she tried to be inconspicuous.** Oh dear Mew, please don't let this be another romance fic...

 **To the light, the shadows were beautiful.** Dammit!

* * *

 _ **"Hello, I am Arceus."**_ And I'm confused why this is in center alignment of all things.

 _ **"...Giratina."**_

 _ **He's in love.**_ Here I thought Twilight had the worst romance out of nowhere, but _nope._

* * *

 **The blue and purple dragons fought, he tried to break them up, and she succeeded when he failed.** Stop playing the pronoun game! **Time stabilized, space expanded** it's kitchen. What, did you think I was going to make another one of those jokes? **, and a world opposite to his opened up.** Because...reasons?

 **Wings of shadows flexed, and the Alpha silently fretted that his shady angel would vanish into the shadows.** Here I thought Japan was the worst at faux-Christian symbolism, but this is proving me wrong.

* * *

 _ **"You'll be back?"**_

 _ **She glances at him with those chaotic ruby eyes, and his heart throbs.**_ Chaos and silence don't go together. It's like saying sweet, innocent Little Johnny is a serial killer.

* * *

 **She tried to overthrow his control.** (Gary looks startled.) Huh?! That came out of nowhere! What is with these authors and not giving us the proper context to something?! **He held back from destroying her, and instead banished her with a heart weighed down with lead and boulders and worlds, heavy as they are.** The heck was that sentence?

 **He still hears her screams as her dark light vanishes form this world, the world where everything but her exists.** Mother of Arceus, here I thought Monotony was overly angsty. **The brightest has fallen from the side of god.** That's god with a lowercase G, by the way.

 **The world is filled with more life, and tehre are more of the bright ones - called legendaries by human creatures.** And Pokemon and even legendaries themselves.

 **Eventually, her repentance is complete and he calls her back, all the while fretting.** (Gary groans.)

 **Has she changed? To good or bad? Does she hate him? Did she love him before?** All of these answers and more will be answered, next time on Dragon Ball Z!

 **Unfitting for the Original One to be like this, but he can't help it.** Yes, unfitting for God himself to be worried over one of many living things.

 **She bows her golden head, and avoids his eyes.**

 **This breaks his heart, and he becomes impassive.** He does realize it could be a "can't look him in the eyes, otherwise I'll blush" situation, right? **The star has fallen, but he has not caught it.** What does that even mean?

 **His pride keeps him from searching the grounds for the twinkling meteor.** At least his pride isn't making him do something stupid like let the bad guy get stronger. I know this is unrelated, but Dragon Ball has the stupidest characters sometimes, especially when it comes to Vegeta! Why does he make so many stupid decisions all the time?! (Gary clears his throat.) Anyways...

 **They keep a careful distance. She stays in that dark, distorted world of hers, and he in the heavenly,** ** _lonely_** **halls high above the mountain.** Lonely paradise cliche.

 **He never once tells his star how she shone, how she still shines radiantly in his eyes no matter what. Never let the fairytale wish show.** The miracle never happen. Because a miracle is something that does not exist.

* * *

 ** _She doesn't, either._** She doesn't what exactly?

* * *

(Gary groans.) That was painful. I'm just glad it was short. I'm pretty sure this author could do _anything else_ better. I just want a story that isn't bad for once. This is Gary Oak, signing off.


	5. GOFRS - I'm okay

**Hey, Scion here! About that question I posed last chapter, I decided I'll do both of them, though the Mystery Dungeon one at a later date. Good thing I've got a co-author to help me with the Gary fic coming in the future. Casting that aside, this one will be a bit darker than the others due to, well, you'll see.**

 **The story being reviewed will be shown in bold, while bold in the reviewed story will be bold-italic.**

 **The story being reviewed is I'm okay by Number Eleven is my OC.**

Hello everyone, and welcome to GOFRS! Seriously, whose idea was this show name? I'm the awesome Gary Oak, and Scion told me I'm not reviewing a romance fic for once, plus he said this was funny, so I'm eager! Let's do this!

 **"PIKACHU!" Ash yelled as he watched his best friend fall from the top of Prism Tower.** Wow, starting off with a bang, are we? I'd ask for context, but I like how it started in the middle.

 **Not even thinking about the Froakie or the Garchomp or all the people down below him, Ash followed the Pokemon on his fall from the highest building in the Kalos region.** Ashy-boy told me about that while I bumped into him in Kalos. Serena from camp was also there coming onto Ashy-boy. So, what is that, three people who have confirmed feelings for Ashy-boy?

 **Ash grabbed his best friend and clutched the small pokemon to his chest, preparing to take the full brunt of the fall.** You forgot the capital P.

 **Ash was half expecting something to catch him like things always seemed to do when he was falling off of high buildings or mountains.** Yeah, what's with that?

 **But he was already half of the way down and there was no savior in sight, so he attempted to pull his legs down to land on them instead of his upper back or neck.** You can just lean to the tower and possibly crash into the windows! You'd think with all the times Ashy-boy has been in mortal danger, he'd learn a thing or two. **But that was most likely irrelevant at the height of Prism Tower, but there was no harm in trying, right?** What is with this nonchalant writing style? It's like walking into certain death with Lemony Snicket commentating and having a stupid grin while walking in.

 **Ash was waiting for Clemont's Aipom arm to grab him, or for a pokemon to grab him or someone to save or catch him before he hit the ground.** Here comes the punchline, I just know it.

 **But when something did catch him, it was the hard ground he had most feared.** (Gary has a totally fake smile.) This isn't funny.

 **His lower back had hit first which resulted in the rest of him sprawling in all directions.** Was that supposed to be a sentence? I could barely tell. **He could feel Pikachu on his chest, breathing.**

 **"Pika...Chu...A-Are y-you-u ok-ka-ay-ay?"** You're kind of overdoing the stutter there, Ashy-boy. I know you're dying and all, but the stutter kind of takes away from the emotion. **He could feel all the broken bones in his body, screaming at him.** What is with these authors not using commas, correctly? Oh, and SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS.

 **"Pika-Pi." The electric mouse said, standing slowly with concern in his eyes.** I have the feeling that may have hurt Ash even more than needed. Might have killed him, in fact. Just saying.

 **"G-Good-d. I-I'm gl-la-ad-d" Ash replied, giving his best friend a small smile.** Dying makes people do Porky Pig impressions?

 **"Pika, Pikachu?" Pikachu asked, carefully jumping off of Ash's chest and moving up to his face.**

 **"Y-Yeah-h, I-I'm-m o-ok-ka-ay-y..."** That's all, folks! **Ash's voice trailed off and his eyes glazed over, staring straight up at the night sky.** Wait, I didn't mean that in a literal way!

 **"Pi? Ka?" Pikachu asked, asked, shaking his trainer gently, trying to get him to respond.** Are we really doing this right now?

 **But the trainer didn't respond, he just stared at the sky with that small smile on his face.**

 **An apologetic smile.** Eesh. He's gonna revive like he usually does, isn't he? Right?

* * *

 **"Ash!" Clemont shouted as he and his younger sister ran towards the young trainer lying on the pavement.** Yes, because it's a good idea for a small girl to see a corpse.

 **Clemont was the first to see Ash's face and he quickly turned and covered Bonnie's eyes.** Good, at least the girl won't be mortified.

 **"What's wrong Clemont?" She asked, tying to pull his hand off her face.** If you get overpowered by a six or seven year old, you deserve to be humiliated. Just saying. Well, that's disregarding that time a Ledian beat me in a boxing match, don't ask.

 **"Is Ash okay?" Bonnie asked, concern in her voice.** Does everyone use commas to make themselves look smarter? If they're misplaced, it just makes you look like a complete moron.

 **"No, Bonnie, he's not." Clemont replied.** He's surprisingly calm. If I saw my friend dead on the floor, I'd be panicking a little _lot._

 **Pikachu shook Ash harder.** *insert George Takei Oh my here*

 **"Pika, Pi, Pikachu!" He declared to his master, tears filling his small black eyes.** That comma could just have easily been replaced with the word "with".

 **"Why can't I look? Ash? Ash, are you okay?" Bonnie called out to him.** Something is gonna happen to revive Ashy-boy, like the tears of Pikachu or anything equally stupid.

 **She didn't receive a response.** "Call back later when I'm not dead. Say hi to Mom for me! clickbeeeeeeeeeeeeeep"

 **"What's wrong Clemont?" Bonnie asked again.**

 **"Just don't look!" He instructed her.** With children, telling them not to do something only sounds like "DO THIS AT WHATEVER COST" in their minds.

 **After another minute, Bonnie successfully pried her brother's hand off her eyes.** Note to self: humiliate Clemont later.

 **She looked at the scene her brother had been looking at and immediately shrieked and dug her face into her brother's jumpsuit.** The _one time_ that you needed commas.

* * *

 **Delia Ketchum was sitting at her dining room table eating lunch with her Mr. Mime.** Wait, are we really doing this? People actually have the guts to do this?

 **"Mr. Mime!" The pokemon said in its usual jubilant matter when he tool the first bite of its food.**

 **"I'm glad you like it." Delia replied.**

 **Suddenly there was a knock on the door.** And the everyone did the dinosaur. **Delia stood and walked to the door, expecting Professor Oak or one of her neighbors.**

 **Instead there was an officer Jenny in the doorway.** So far, Scion is a filthy liar and completely caught me off guard. Nice job. **The officer had her head bowed in a respectful matter with a somber look on her face.**

 **"Hello Officer, how can I help you?" Delia asked, smiling.**

 **"Ms. Ketchum?"** I never did know where Ash's father ended up. Does he even have a father? Maybe his father is himself. That would be weird, wouldn't it?

 **"Yes, that's me."**

 **"I have recieved a call from one of my cousins in the Kalos region." The officer began.**

 **"Is something wrong?"** Of course something's wrong! What kind of officer comes over with that message and _not_ has a message of impending despair? ..."Impending despair"? That sounds like something you'd hear in Final Fantasy.

 **"Your son, Ash Ketchum, has passed away." The officer said, trying to be gentle.** Not to mention blunt.

 **Delia didn't register any of the apologies given by officer Jenny after those words left her mouth.** You forgot the capitalize the O in Officer Jenny. Delia fell to her knees in shock and tears began to slip down her face.

 **"Ash... Ash... My little pumpkin... is... d-d-d-dead?"** Can... I... put... any... more... e-e-ellipses... and... s-stutters... into... this... s-s-s-s-s-s-sentence?

 **"I'm very sorry Ms. Ketchum." The officer said, closing the door as she left.**

 **Delia just sat there on her hard-wood floor, Mr. Mime patting her on the back and trying to make her feel better.**...Huh?

 **About an hour after Officer Jenny's initial departure a knock came from the door before it was thrown open by a red-head** **carrying a small togepi.** Firstly, that sentence was so run-on, I thought it was gonna run off the computer screen. Secondly, Misty has no respect for Ash's mom if she simply flung the door open. Thirdly, she both _evolved_ and _released_ her Togepi at this point. Anyways...

 **"Ms. Ketchum? Ms. Ketchum I heard..." Misty said before seeng Delia kneeling on the floor with a blank look on her face.** #RIPAsh 

**"Ms. Ketchum, are you alright?" Misty asked, gently placing her Togepi on the ground and trying to help Delia up.** No, does it look like the shell-shocked mother of someone who was just declared dead okay?

 **"My Ash... My little boy... My baby.. is... he's... he's dead..."** Maybe I should serious about this for once...NAH!

 **"He... He's really gone..."** Until the next fanfic.

* * *

 **Another week later, Pikachu returned home to Pallet twon along with Ash's Fletchling.** This is turning into one of my epilogues, isn't it? **Clemont and Bonnie accompanied them, wishing to apologize to his mother for not saving her son, and to attend his funeral.**

 **Pikachu stayed with Delia while Clemont and Bonnie started their journey in the Kanto region eventually meeting Misty, Brock and all of the people Ash had befriended on his first journey.** I'd read that. It's a better premise that shoving me in high school and shipping me with a girl who doesn't seem to exist. Seriously, who the hell is Leaf?! **Bonnie had nightmares every night about her friend's body with eyes glazed over and blood staining the pavement.**

 **Fletchling went with Clemont as his first flying type pokemon.** And the miracle never happen. Because there is no such thing as a miracle.

 **And Serena never forgot the trainer who had helped her all those years ago who had died saving his Pikachu.** Wait, where'd she come from in this story?

The story...eh. It was kinda decent. The slightly whimsical writing style was very off-putting, there were a slew of grammatical errors, and the mourning should have been drawn out more, like having the funeral itself be included where a lot of people talk about him, like Misty, N, Brock, Paul, and me for example. Anyway, this has been Gary Oak! Smell ya later!

 **If I don't upload as often, it's probably because I'm still sore from marching band practice. Ow...adieu.**


	6. GOFRS - AN

**Hey everyone, Scion here. Lately I haven't been having the time to post (let alone write) new chapters since I have band practice. Doesn't help that I'm on probation in said band too. I have my weekends taken up by prior things by the next two weeks and the only time I can really write is at night, but I need my sleep. Yeah, I'm kind of in a pickle here. Hopefully I can get my schedule back in order soon so I can get this story back in order. Don't expect chapters from me for a while since this is all happening. Wish me luck. I sure need it... So long, and adieu!**


	7. GOFRS - Huh?

**I've finally gotten to the point where I can make fun of myself. Didn't somebody say the best comedians make fun of themselves or something like that? Well, I went and wrote a romance fic with a sleep addled mind. Needless to say, I had regrets. Now to dash them away with whatever this is! Oh yeah, and this story is finally breaking 10k words! Yay! *dumps confetti on self* I should really stop doing things like this.**

* * *

*Gary is sitting in a dark room and the "camera" is slightly wobbly* Hey guys, Gary here. Scion's asleep right now, so I raided his laptop to find that he made a fanfiction. *Gary sports a Cheshire Cat-like grin* I'm gonna have fun tonight.

 **It was just another day at the ranch. The Pidgey were chirping, the Oddish were walking around, and everyone was having an all around cheerful time. Well, excluding one Grass-type.** I can already see where this is going. **Bayleef lied down where nobody was and sighed.** Yep. So apparently Scion wants Ashy-boy 'n Bayleef to get together. I can only imagine the potential trainwreck that is that relationship, what with Bayleef most likely harming any woman who gets near Ash. **She hadn't seen Ash in, what was it now, 7 months? 8? Does it really matter? She was just going to be pushed off after her "hug" and be trumped by Pikachu.**...I don't want to know why "hug" is in quotes.

 **Pikachu. She got that he was his first Pokemon and all, but that doesn't mean he should _not_ bring the others with him.** That was a weird thing to emphasize. It should have been " _shouldn't_ ". **It really seemed dumb to her. If anything, it made the others even lonelier. She didn't even know what happened to Aipom during his journey in Sinnoh.** At least he does his research. Seriously, _who the hell is Leaf?!_ **Catching her train of thought, Pikachu wasn't really all that anyway. Sure, he did seem to have the oddest ability to shock Ground types, but he got beaten by a _starter_ from what she heard from Snivy.** Yeah, what was with that? **He was preparing for the Unova Pokemon League and here she was alone.**

 **Rotting. Wallowing in her own self pity.** Word. Fractured sentences. I am Groot. **She was one of the strongest, if not the strongest out the team anyways!** Forgot a period there if I'm not mistaken. **Why does he rarely use her?! She sometimes got really infuriated at the guy she loved. She sighed. He was so handsome and brave in her eyes. His overwhelming positivity attracted her. His clumsiness and airheadedness were annoying, but everyone has flaws.** Like this story.

 **She began to mope more the more she thought about him. She could never possibly be with him. He couldn't even _understand_ her.** Unless she inexplicably learned how to use Aura and/or Psychic. **Maybe she can learn it like Meowth did.** Or that. **Even if she did and confessed, he's probably interested in someone else. Misty, May, that Iris chick, the blue-haired one, Cynthia, Jasmine, heck, even some Latias he met on vacation. That's not even considering that he might not even be interested in girls at all.**

 **"Bayleef!" a distant voice called. She perked up. Who wants her? "Bayleef, Ash wants you to cycle into his team!"** Of course someone comes in for a Deus Ex Machina.

 **Bayleef sported a smile as wide as a Dragonair and ran to the place where she could easily get to her beloved: Professor Oak's lab.** I think some of the purple prose from Monotony dripped on here. Speaking of, apparently someone tattled me of in a review of that story. Not cool "guest". **Amazing what technology can do, right?** Yes. *Gary stares at the screen for a while then smirks in his usual manner* And _that_ was a wonderful example of what technology can do. **She bowled over Tracey and dashed to where her Pokeball was placed on a nice wooden desk. She lightly tapped her nose to it and got sucked inside.**

 **"I'm gonna feel that tomorrow," she heard Tracey groan to himself.** Suck it up! Be a man, er boy...how old even is Tracey? **He picked up the Pokeball containing Bayleef and walked to the transfer station, which is where a screen is set up showing Ash. "You're going to transfer Oshawott to the lab, right?" Tracey asked. Bayleef observed all of this though her Pokeball. Ash nodded his head and set a Pokeball on his side. Tracey did the same with Bayleef's Pokeball on his side.** I feel like I'll get whiplash from how fast this story is going.

 **"Ready?" they both asked each other simultaneously. They both laughed at that and hit a green button on either side.** What was so funny about that? **With that, Bayleef got transferred about a quarter ways across the world. She suddenly found herself out of her Pokeball in your general Pokemon Center looking at Ash.**

 **"Bay!" Bayleef happily greeted and knocked Ash to the ground in her affectionate gesture.** So that's why it was in quotes. That was more innocent than I thought. **She began rubbing her cheek on his.** Okay, I'll admit that's pretty adorable.

 **"Hey Bayleef, long time no see!" Ash said, chuckling. He returned the gesture with a hug. They sat there for a moment until Ash said, "Hey Bayleef, could you get off me? It's getting hard to breathe down here." Bayleef complied as Ash got up. "It's really nice to see you again." Bayleef grew a bit red on the cheeks and averted her gaze hoping Ash didn't see.** Remember how I mentioned the blush thing in the first or second episode? Here's an example right here. **It didn't work, she knew, but she tried.** I rate 8 out of 8 for effort mate. **Trying to shake off that bit of embarrassment, she noticed Ash was in his usual Unova clothing, though a key piece of his appearance was missing.** I've noticed that Scion likes the word "bit". Maybe it subtly symbolizes his current four-bit writing here.

 **"Bayleef?" she asked while gesturing to his shoulder.**

 **Ash looked a bit confused for a bit and got the message. "Oh, you're wondering where Pikachu is?" She nodded. "He's training with the others for the Unova League. I just know we're gonna win this time!"**

 ** _That's what you said the other three times._** I wasn't expecting her to be such a savage. **She** **smiled and gave a happy "Bay!" in return.**

 **"Now that we're here, wanna start some training?"** That's like saying, "Hey, since you traveled across the world to get here, how about you help me move these thousands of crates?"

 **"Bayleef Bay!"** I apologize, I don't speak Bayleef.

* * *

 **About five hours later, everyone was sweating and panting from their intensive training. Even Ash was sweating from their training. "Good job everyone! Bayleef, you did really well today," Ash praised.** Nothing for the others? And isn't Charizard supposed to be in Charzafac Canyon or something? **Bayleef blushed and gave an embarrassed "Leef...".** Am I the only one who imagined that noise Kirby does when he fires of ROB's laser? Watching those Smash tournaments is surprisingly fun, if I may add. I heard some Ashy-boy lookalike even trained all the Pokemon who competed. **His current team, consisting of her, Pikachu, Charizard, Buizel, Gible, and Donphan, were gathered around with Iris and Cilan's Pokemon to have their dinner.**

 **"You all did well," Cilan complimented.** Now for Cilan from abso-*censor*ing-nowhere **"Now it's time to whip you all up something worthy of your hard work!" Bayleef anime sweatdropped.** *Gary proceeds to do one of his own while looking a bit confused* "Anime sweatdrop"? **Was he always like this?** Yes. I'm glad someone finally addresses his odd behavior. **Iris wasn't any better with her acting like a complete child and calling Ash a kid. What a hypocrite!** Does depression make you genre savvy? **After everyone was finished with dinner, she just sat and watched Ash do, well, whatever.** Oh, is Ashy-boy in _that_ phase, is he? *Gary winks knowingly* **She was entranced by her trainer.**

 **A sudden realization hit her. _If you don't confess today, he'll probably run off with some girl while you sit back and waste away!_** I can see where that assumption would come from, but where was the build up for that thought? The first section of the story can pass as a build up, but even that was slightly half-assed. **The problem was _how_ she was going to confess. Again, the language barrier.** Um...Leef Bayleef? *subtitles appear under Gary reading, "Even Speedwagon is afraid?"* *Gary looks down* "Even Speedwagon is afraid?" Where did that come from? **She eventually got an idea. It was simple, yet effective.** So simple and effective that she didn't bother to tell us. **Waiting until night fell and everyone went back to the Pokemon Center to go to sleep, she followed Ash to his room. Opening the door with her mouth, she saw him in his pajamas about to turn off the lights.**

 **"Oh hey Bayleef. What are you doing here?" Ash asked. Pikachu was on his bed asleep and the others were in other rooms. How Charizard didn't burn the place down she never knew.** *chuckles lightly* Okay, that was kind of funny. **Bayleef stood there for a moment. _Oh, screw it!_ She wrapped her vines around Ash and pulled him down into a rather awkward kiss.** Effective but not simple? **Ash looked downright shocked while Bayleef looked nervous, yet happy.** What would you call that emotion? "Anxieglee?" **Bayleef broke the kiss and unwrapped her vines. Ash still looked shellshocked. "...Huh?" he flatly said.** Oh hey, a title drop.

 **Oh no. She messed it up. He didn't love her back.** Bayleef is not only jumping one gun, but two! **Why did she ever do that?! What a disaster!** Woe is me! **Bayleef felt tears in her eyes and she ran out.** That should have been "as she ran out." Living with a poet as a grandfather can make you pay attention to grammatical mistakes like that. Perfect for impressing the ladies in the audience. *Gary winks, grins, and points finger pistols at the camera*

 **"Bayleef, wait!" she heard Ash shout, but she ignored it and kept running.** At this point, I'm pretty sure Scion is putting these cliches on purpose.

* * *

 **Ash felt a flurry of emotions rush into him as Bayleef kissed him. Most noticeable was sheer confusion.** *Gary lightly chuckles* That was surprisingly funny too. *Gary looks around, slightly paranoid* Why do I feel like I was manipulated to say that? **Why was she kissing him? He felt the kiss break and her vines unwrap around him. He said the only thing he could have said at that moment. "...Huh?" He saw Bayleef tear up and run away. A stunning realization hit him like a flaming semi-truck to the face.** Oddly specific. **"She loves me..." Ash muttered. He couldn't believe he didn't notice it for so long. How could he be so dense?** This is you we're talking about here, Ashy-boy.

 **"Bayleef, wait!" Ash shouted. He began to run after her though the Pokemon Center and out of the front doors.** And over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house he went. **He saw Bayleef run into some trees, so he gave chase.** "Gave chase?" What kind of term _is_ that? At least it's not as stupid as "palming his face". **While he was running, a lot of thoughts ran though his mind. How long did she love him? Did he love her back? What even is love?** *starts singing What Is Love by Haddaway* Baby don't hurt me.~ **Maybe it was this weird fuzzy feeling in his chest that kinda feels like a Quilfish got stuck in it.** *Gary winces* That sounds painful. Not as painful as what happened to him in that last fic. At least he learned how to do the Stanky Leg...too soon?

 **He eventually caught up to Bayleef. The moonlight shined onto her. _She looks kinda cute._ Where did that thought come from?** This story keeps asking my questions for me. **Casting that aside, he noticed she was sobbing into a lake while staring at her own reflection.** Should I take a sip for how many cliches that seem to be on purpose are in this story? **He really didn't like seeing Bayleef so sad. Was this all his fault? He trudged to his sobbing Pokemon. "Hey. Are you okay?"**

* * *

 **Bayleef looked up from her wallowing and saw Ash sit beside her. She looked down in shame. She kissed him without his consent and now she probably hater her!** "Hater her?" Come on, the r isn't even that close to the d on a keyboard! How do you mess that up?! **She felt a single tear run down her cheek only to be wiped away by the one she loved.**

 **"Hey, it's okay, all right?" Ash assured her. "You love me, right?" He asked her. Why was he asking that?** At this point it should be obvious. **She nodded without hesitation while blushing. He gave an awkward chuckle and scratched the back of his head. "I'm not really sure how to go about this honestly..." He sighed. "Bayleef, I think I might love you. I'm not really sure."** This is surprisingly in character for him.

 **That was good enough for her.** I like her attitude!

 **She leaned in and kissed Ash again. Ash looked startled at first, but he closed his eyes and hissed her back.** "Hissed?" What, are they both snakes? **Bayleef felt she was higher than Cloud 9 right now. They broke apart from the kiss both looking as red as a beet.**

 **Not really sure what to say, Ash just got up and walked back to the Pokemon Center, but not before he was Body Slammed to the ground by Bayleef.** Welcome to the Slam Jam!

 **"Bayleef!" Bayleef cheerfully said.**

 **"I love you too, Bayleef."** Maybe I can harness the sap from this story and make some syrup.

* * *

So...that happened. Overall, it was good, I suppose. Other than the odd pacing, the occasional grammatical error, it was good overall and I liked it. It was probably the best one I've read so far along with I'm okay. Anyways, this is Gary Oak signing off before Scion wakes up and potentially slaughters me! Smell ya later!

* * *

 **Take writing at 3:00 AM and add my writing style to romance and what do you get? Whatever Huh? was. Now I have no regrets...unless I made a grammatical error. My English teacher would tear me apart if she saw my grammar sometimes. Anyways, review if you want to. Adieu!**


	8. GOFRS - Berries For You

**Hey, Scion here. I'm not too sure what else to say here, so enjoy the story!**

 **I'd also like to point out how there is no Swoobat Character Tag on the site. Could somebody fix that? A tad off topic, but Swoobats are freaking adorable. I just wanna cuddle them so badly. Anyways...**

 **The story being reviewed will be typed in Bold and everything in italics in the story will be typed in bold-italics.**

 **The story being reviewed is Berries for You by TheScoundrelCookie**

Hello audience, Gary Oak here with another episode of GOFRS! That's the stupidest acronym I have ever heard!

Scion: Hey! Shut up!

Gary: You're not the star here! *ahem* Sorry, he's just been _a little prissy_ since that last chapter. *ahem ahem* Let's just review whatever this story is already. I doubt it will top the last one, *Gary snickers* I'm sorry, I just can't handle the fact he made that. Let's just *snicker* start this before I giggle myself to death.

 **A rather loud laugh boomed throughout the area as the male Wingull fell over from laughing. The Froakie beside him just stared with angry eyes, obviously not pleased with his reaction.** I have a distinct feeling that this story isn't going to give me context for a lot of things that need context.

 **"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I just don't understand it. A Swoobat? I just can't believe it!" managed to state the bird-like creature.** I can't believe it either! Seriously, what are you talking about?

 **"Thanks," answered the frog-like Pokemon in a flat tone. "It's great to know you can point out the obvious, yet you still remain useless, Ruben."** Hey, that's my job minus the useless part. By the way ladies, you can call me at 1-888-447-5594. *Gary winks at the camera*

Scion: Wait, isn't that the hotline number given out in God of War as an Easter E-

 **"Well, I'M SOR-EE," sarcastically muttered the Wingull named Ruben. "Not all of us are exactly dating experts, Neil."**

Gary: Huh. Another romance story. _Yippee..._

 **"Hmph..."**

 **"So, what are you gonna do about it?" asked Ruben when his friend hadn't bothered to continue the conversation.** Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? BAD BOYS BAD BOYS

 **"What do you expect me to do?"** Bleed on me?

 **It was Ruben's turn to glare as Neil ignored him and continued talking, "Anyways, I'm not going to walk up to her and just tell her that. You are well aware of how...unpredictable she is."** Ellipses are supposed to be 3 periods, not 5. "Unpredictable." That reminds me of more people than it should.

 **"Hmm, good point."**

 **"I know," responded Neil as he shifted his gaze to the worn-out path that led to the home of his beloved.** Is it too early to play Careless Whispers? **"That reason only is why I have concluded I shall not make any romantic moves on her."** "Now I shall put on my monocle and top hat and sip some tea like a true man." Was that offensive? Because I know people get offended by literally anything nowadays.

 **"Really?"**

 **"What?!" Neil huffed in defense at his friend's response.**

 **"You should just come out** I thought the point of all of this that we was interested in a _female_ Swoobat. **and tell her.** Oh. **The worst you can get is a no!" practically exclaimed the Wingull, flapping his wings repeatedly in the heat of the moment.** Just douse the moment with a Water Gun!

Scion: I think you're missing the point here.

Gary: Whatever.

 **"I can also suffer from severe brain damage."** Sounds like every time I've been around Ashy-boy.

 **"It's totally worth it though!"** Don't do it, it's not worth it!

 **"Ruben...you're an idiot," huffed the Froakie in annoyance as he rolled his eyes.**

Scion: Everyone's an idiot when love is involved.

Gary: That was oddly poetic...which is why you'll never get a girlfriend.

Scion: Hey!

Gary: Call me ladies!

 **"Awww, no I'm not! Listen I'll tell you what to do."** Just turn right at the planet Ura-

 **"I'm not sure I want that."** *insert George Takei "Oh my"* *George Takei tape burns* Aw, I liked that clip!

 **"Shush! Lemme talk!"**

 **"Okay, fine. What is your stupendous idea?"**

 **"Psychic-types are weak against Dark-types, right?"** And Bug types. She's also part Flying, so she's also weak to Electric attacks.

 **"Yes."** OF COURSE!

 **"Cool! Umm...what was I saying? ...Oh yeah.** Attention deficit, aren't ya? **Well, I heard there are some berries that can weaken those attacks in the forest. Get her some of those!" instructed the water-type.** That's convenient.

 **Neil blinked in mild shock that his somewhat best friend had actually said something helpful.** That's implying a lot.

 **"Huh...Where can I find them?"** I'm not doing that joke again.

 **"Apparently there's a Pokemon, uh a Spritzee...That will give you some in return for berries."** Nothing bad could possibly happen here at all.

 **"Hmmm...** Hmmmmmmmm... **I'm going to go check out that then. I'll be seeing you, Ruben." the blue frog-like creature replied, beginning to depart in search of this fairy-type.** "This -like thing is really stupid," said the awesome-like reviewer.

Scion: "Awesome-like?" Really?

Gary: Hey, the audience is here for me, not you!

 **"Alright! Bye Neil! Tell me what she says!"** I'd do a "mmm whatcha say" joke here, but that would just be stupid...wait a minute...

 **Neil gave a nervous chuckle as he considered what he was doing. Was it really worth it? He hoped so.** Epic foreshadowing?

* * *

 **After an hour or so of stumbling around the forest that was native to him, Neil had managed to find the pink bird-looking Pokemon leaned against a tree, taking a nap.** That seems like a bad idea. The merchandise could be stolen, you know.

 **"How is that even logical? Thieves could steal their merchandise," murmured the Froakie in irritation at the Spritzee's carelessness.** Hey, that's what I just said! **Oh well, it wasn't his problem.** Well, aren't you an ass.

 **He decided to approach the sleeping figure quiently but stopped when was only a short distance away.** That sentence felt _way_ too long.

 **"Ahem, hello?"**

 **No response.** Is this a video game or something?

 **"HELLO!" the water-type shouted, not being the patient-type at all.** Sheesh, even Ashy-boy has more patience.

 **"Hruu?"** Hruu? Hruu? _HRUU?!_ _What kind of noise is that?!_ **The fairy-type opened its eyes and glanced at the frog. "Who are you?"** Why am I reminded of that caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland?

 **"I was told that you traded berries for uh...berries.** First of all, you forgot to answer the question. Secondly, that's like trading drugs for drugs. **I was hoping..."**

 **"Oh! Sure thing, hun!" the Spritzee immediately interjected, hopping up from their seat.** What gender are you?! **"What kind you looking for?"** Actual speech doesn't translate well onto paper.

Scion: My English teacher drilled that into my brain. Then I drilled _that_ into Gary's brain.

Gary: You know, you should really stop talking. We don't want to add that "OC" tag to the story; it's just tacky.

Scion: Video you mean. And no.

Gary: Anyways...

 **"I don't know their name, but apparently, they can weaken a Dark-type attack."**

 **"Ohhh...you mean Colbur berries!** Am I the only one who imagines that Colress guy with a Dribur head replaced with his head when I hear Colbur? **I have some...but yeah, you gotta trade for em'," replied the Spritzee. "What do you have?"** I have the distinct feeling where this is the part where somebody else writing the story would diverge into lemon territory.

 **"Umm, I have a couple of Mago berries that I'm willing to depart with. I mean if you want."**

 **"Sounds like a fair trade, Hand em' over, and I'll give you the Colbur berries."** People should really revise their stories before releasing them.

 **"Uhhh, sure. That sounds fair enough, I guess," answered the Froakie as he proceeded to hand over the little sack that held the food. The Spritzee greedily grabbed it and placed it on the floor.** I was kidding about the drug deal.

 **However, as soon as that was done, the fairy-type began to charge an attack, and before Neil could even comprehend what had happened, everything went black.** I called it! That really was a drug deal!

* * *

 ***to sum up the next three paragraphs so time won't be wasted, Neil woke up several hours later hurting. there. you just saved about a minute of your life***

 **"Can I ask why you're lying on the floor?** Doing the dinosaur? **Is that like some weird ritual you Froakie do or what?" a voice suddenly asked.** I'm gonna choose "what."

 **The water-type felt himself groan internally at his bad luck.** How does one feel that? **First he got mugged, now this?** Someone interrupting your Froakie ritual?

 **What an embarrassment. He could never live this down!** Disaster! Disaster!

 **Nonetheless, he opend his mouth and harshly responded, "Yes, Carmen. Despite the fact I'm easily disgusted, I'm laying here on the ground doing Froakie rituals even though you're well aware I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BEING A FROAKIE.** 1...2...3...CONTEXT! Sure, the readers will most likely figure out that Neil is an orphan, but sheesh. It's not like you can make a story with much backstory and subtext and make it work in a story under 5k+ words unless you're Edgar Allen Poe. Don't try to be Edgar Allen Poe. If you do try however, make it good otherwise you're screwed. **Oh, and THAT I'M EASILY DISGUSTED!** He'd probably hate to be around Ashy-boy at breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner, dinner, desert, and any other snack time.

 **"Hmph! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you got your butt handed to you by that Spritzee bandit that's been plaguing the forest lately," retorted the psychic bat in response as she flew down to the ground and studied the beaten up water-type.**

 **...Spritzee bandit?** 3...2...1...

 **"DANGIT RUBEN!" abruptly yelled the frog Pokemon.** And there it is.

 **He knew it was impssible for the Wingull to be helpful.** Well, aren't you an ass?

 **"So, what were you trying to do, dummy? Be a hero or what?" pestered the female Pokemon, grinning widely.** *Gary shivers* Imagine a Swoobat with one of those slasher smiles those serial killers in horror movies make. Creepy.

 **"N-no," stuttered Neil as he suddenly felt awkward being around Carmen.** And here comes the stutters.

 **"Ohhhh? What was it then? Tell me, or I'll suck your** I'll just interrupt a bit here **blood dry!" lightly threatened the bat Pokemon.** How do you even stretch out the h in "oh" anyways?

 **"You're a fruit bat. You don't drink blood."**

Scion: Blood tastes surprisingly good.

Gary: *stares at Scion who is currently off-screen* Could you just never speak again?

 **"S-shut up!" Carmen yelled, pouting afterwards. "Just tell me, and I'll heal you!"** Is Neil's assetry rubbing off on everyone else in this story?

 **"No! Go away, Carmen!" he instantly screamed, embarrassed at the thought of her knowing he harbored feelings for her.** His instant response was to scream at his crush? Wow, you're starting to ascend the ranks of being an ass, Neil. **That would only worsen his day, and he really didn't need that.** He sounds like a teenager trying to ignore her problems.

 **"Pleaaaaaase," whined the female.** How does she stretch out the a? Isn't stretching the e the thing that would make the most sense? **"I won't judgeeee!"** Oh come on, the e in judge is nearly silent!

 **"Liar."**

 **"I'm not lying!"** Objection!

 **"Mmhm, sure you're not."**

 **"Neiiiiil, come oooon," The Swoobat pressed, feeling more desperate to know.** Oh for Mew's sake, the i is silent! You're supposed to stretch out the e! **She paused for a moment before giving him a mischievous grin.** If that were literal, I'd be very disturbed. **"Is it for a giiiiirl?"** What is this, a game of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney?

 **The Froakie stiffened at her accurate guess and looked away, "Sort of."** Looking is now a form of speech apparently.

 **"...Is it for a boy?"**

 **The water-type snapped back to look at her. Tired of trying to remain calm, he blurted out in an irritated tone, "NO! THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR YOU!"** I see he's as tired of this story as I am.

 **He fell quiet as he realized** that he was falling down some stairs **what he said.**

 **Carmen fell silent as a look of disbelief was written on her face, "What?"** That sounds like a terrible tattoo.

 **The frog gazed away once more as he prepared for her reaction that he was sure would be violent.** This is a romance story, everyone!

 **Hesitantly, he responded, "Yeah...they...they were for you."**

 **"Why?"** "Because plot."

 **"I don't know why, but I seemed to have gathered some form of attraction towards you..."**

 **"I...Really?"**

 **"Yes."**

 **"Oh...Neil, I'm so sorry!" she instantly started apologizing as she enveloped him in a tight hug.** What's with everyone doing things in an instant in this story? Also, what's she apologizing for? **"Gahh!** You can't even hold the h in gah! **I feel so baaad! I mean I like you too, but...but...I'M SORRY!"** "Because plot convenience!"

 **"Ow..." moaned the Froakie in pain at her embracing him with just a little too much strength. "Carmen, that hurts!"** I'd do the George Takei thing, but that clip is out of order. *looks offscreen* Hey Scion, get another tape!

 **"Sorry! Sorry!" she pulled away but nuzzled his cheek affectionately. "Thank you for trying. I don't know what to say...Ahhh...Aww, come on. Let's go!** Where? **I'll take you home and fix you up"!**

 **"O-okay," The water-type responded, feeling just a little too shy to say anything else.** Sounds like why I'm the star and Scion is the irrelevant person here.

Scion: H-hey! S-shut up!

Gary: My point stands.

 **Perhaps, it was worth it in the end.** Perhaps a comma needs to be removed. **However, Neil knew for sure Ruben would not stop laughing when he told him about this tomorrow.**

 **Oh well.** That was anti-climactic.

* * *

Well...that just happened. That's the best I can describe it overall, it just happened. There was nothing really good, nor was there anything really bad about it. It was like one of those TV commercials that you decide to watch and have nothing gained or lost from it. How would a Froakie and a Swoobat reproduce? ...On second thought, I shouldn't think things like that. With that imagery stuck in my mind, this is Gary Oak signing off.

* * *

 **Seriously, could someone get on that Swoobat tag? Thanks and adieu!**


	9. GOFRS - Nick and the Bulbasaur

**Hullo, Scion here. Sorry for the long delay; I've been busy and exhausted lately. This chapter will be more brutal than usual to the point here it leans on M, so be wary. Anyways, let's skip the nonsense and get to the story!**

 **The story being reviewed is Nick and the Bulbasaur by Tomato Paste. The story being reviewed will be typed in bold.**

Gary: Hello and welcome to Gary Oak's Fantastical Review Show! Whose idea was that name? Anyways, before we start this episode, I've gotten certain *ahem* complaints about me interrupting the story, saying it's unnecessary, unfunny, etc.

-flashback-

*Gary is on the phone* Hello Ms. Shauntal. *nigh deafening yelling on the other side of the phone* No, I did not drag your son into this without his consent! *more yelling on the other side of the phone* Whaddaya mean you don't like me interrupting? *even more yelling; at the end Gary looks frightened* Okay, okay, I'll stop! Just please don't break my eardrums the next time you want to talk.

-flashforward-

My eardrums are still ringing five days later. Anyways, let's get this started!

 **Nick Shaw entered the room with Bulbasaur.** What room? For all we know, they could be walking into a room full of deadly...death, I suppose. **Nick gave the poor Pokemon a slick, sly sideways glance.** Is this turning into one of those commercials for abused Pokemon? **"Well, Bulbasaur", said Nick, "It's just you and me against the world. Just you and me".** And this brick wall between us. **Nick then took out a fully loaded AK-47 out of nowhere.** What?! **"Goodbye, motherfucka!" screamed the human."** WHAT?!

 **"Bulba?"replied the confused Pocket Monster.** WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?! **A second later, a hail of bullets zipped through Bulbasaur.** WHO MADE THIS AND WHY?! **Fine, tasty, honey-like juice oozed from Bulbasaur's many wounds.**...You know what, I'm just going to shut up and see where this goes. **Flailing around, he desperately tried Vine attack, but it failed horribly as he screeched in pain from having his vines ripped off by the bullets of the Russian machine gun. Finally, exhausted, Bulbasaur, his wounds oozing profusely and thick, sloppy drool dripping from his mout, closed his ees as a great darkness came over him.** Is it safe to show this stuff here?! I don't want to be taken down by the fuzz!

 **"Serves you right, you bastard!" snarled Nick Shaw.** And WHY?! **Later, he had Bulbasaur chopped up and served as the vegetable side to his Squirtle soup and roast Pikachu.** *Gary looks downright disturbed*

I have no idea what just happened. I want to forever remove that atrocity from my head. Lemme just just explain some things here: We banned eathing Pokemon fifty years ago from it being inhumane eating something of equal intelligence as you. It's basically the equivalent of cannibalism. At the moment romantic relations between Pokemon and humans are pretty much legal. Wonder if we can break the language barrier. Well, this has been an oddly slim episode. This is Gary Oak, signing off! *walks offscreen* And I'm not telling what happened in Slateport!


End file.
